“How can it be so easy to hate someone who used to mean the world to me?” That’s the question I’ve been asking myself every day since the moment I broke up with who I thought was the love of my life. Until recently, I couldn’t wrap my head around the hatred I’d been feeling toward him, something that would be totally understandable if I had been cheated on, lied to, or played with. But the reality is, he was perfect. He was the one-in-a-million guy, the kind we idealize but convince ourselves can’t really exist, because no one can be all that. Except he was. We spent our year of relationship being a long-distance couple, as he lived in another country, so our connection went far beyond the physical. I felt him close even though he was miles away. All we had were texts and nightly video calls, and still, that was more than enough for both of us to feel the intense feeling of love. I genuinely can’t put into words the reason why I felt like breaking up. I guess I grew, I changed, and maybe the version of me who once loved him wasn’t there anymore, or maybe the version of him I loved wasn’t either. Honestly, that part is irrelevant. What matters is that we broke up on good terms, a phone call that lasted about twenty minutes, ending with a final “I love you” on both sides of the line. A few days of regret, and then the realization that it was for the best. I thought I was fine until someone mentioned his name a couple of weeks later, and all I felt was hate. I hated him. So much. Ironically, that hatred developed when I was in my renewed, post–breakup, best version of myself. That’s when I realized something: our brains need a substitute emotion as strong as the one that once existed in order to cope. Hate sits dangerously close to love. It can take something vulnerable, genuine, and honest, and twist it into something that feels easier to reject, something that deserves to be forgotten. But why hate? Why do the memories suddenly make me resentful? Think about it. If your brain limited you to feel melancholic, you’d seek relief by going back. But hate pushes you to leave things behind. It makes you run. Sure, it can feel like self-sabotage, and it can feel unfair. But it’s simply your unconscious mind protecting your feelings, and it won’t last forever. Once you’re truly over it, that hate softens into respect. It allows you to understand every phase you went through to get where you are now. That’s where I am today. And I can confidently say: it’s okay. You shouldn’t feel guilty for hating someone after leaving them, even if it ended on the best terms possible. This is a beautiful part of getting over something that once meant the world to you. A breakup isn’t just about loss, it’s about rereading who you were and recognizing how you’ve changed. It’s alright. That intense explosion of anger you feel when you hear someone’s name will eventually turn into something you never expected.